Up-dated April 19, 1999
STAY FROM ME!!!
Dark and cold is a lonely soul
nothing is complete, nothing is whole
alone i sit waiting for you
come to me, may our love renew
Our love was strong and it held me tall
without you, i'm destined to fall
i need your arms, to hold me tight
come to me, warm my soul tonight
The days we had have come to an end
the love we shared is gone with the wind
and still i long for your embrace
come to me, let love mine sorrow replace
Dark and cold is my lonely soul
without you i feel no whole
on i must move, without you here
stay form me, being alone no longer i fear
------------------
In the dark
In the dark beneath the skin,
the secret dark,
my words flow carelessly.
When I'm alone with my pen,
the cut is clean,
and words rush helplessly.
The dark, confused swirling
that never stops
down in the middle of me
seeps through the pores
spills to the paper
forming my life's chores.
Any and All who read these lines
have soaked up my words with their minds.
In the dark beneath your skin,
the secret dark,
my words boil dangerously.
------------------------------
Driving down this road,
Don't know where I'm going.
Lost in my world,
In the middle of nowhere.
The girl I saw before me,
Had visions in her eyes;
Dreams she'd live some day,
Will that never died.
The girl I see in the mirror,
Was not the girl once seen,
She turned to evil quickly,
Where has this girl been?
Driving down this world,
Don't know where I'm going.
Lost in this world,
In the middle of nowhere
--------------------------------
My Wedding Day
BY: JESSICA McCORMICK
On this special day I send my feeling up above
To my uncle whom I truly love
I think with some regret
That I have to think first of my family and mustn't forget
I wish he could see me all grown up into the woman I've become
But if he came back again I would be hurt some
So I walk down the aisle with my father
Whom looks like my uncle and no other
To walk down the aisle won't make my life whole
For it is you that should be here but you're a wandering soul
I will not be sad that I know
I will be walking around to and fro
Trying to clear my mind
Knowing true love I will find
From the one I love
And also from my uncle up above
----------------------------
The shield is gone
armor depleted
the sword dulled
bare and open
I stand in the
bleak essence of time
a parallel domain
trapped by demons of deceit
before the maze engulfs me
---------------------------
LISTERINE
I don't mean to be mean
but you need listerine
not a sip not a swallow
but the whole bottle.
-----------------------------
Nightmare's Requiem
A Nightmare, born of darkest night
Fights to save the heart of light
A Nightmare, shorn of heart and soul
Banished to the deep darks cold
Rises again, reforged, reborn
Fights on in the dying Dawn
Through chaos, death, and fear heart-striking
A heart so pure, like crystals ring
Buried deep within a chaos bringer
A death knell tolls, Nightmare the ringer
To fight on and on relentlessly
While Darkness strikes for all to see
At last Demon's Sword finds its mark
Nightmare lies alone, dying in the dark
With Life's Last Breath, Nightmare sends
Souls Last Force, the Darkness it rends
On shores far from Nightmares home
Nightmare dies, lost and alone
---------------------
Heartless
I'm withering away from something so true as faith.
The evil disperses throughout my veins causing a chill down my back.
My heart is settled in darkness being confronted by a lie.
In the face of the betrayer I look stiffened with fear.
A smile he returns as he sees raindrops fall from my cloudy eyes.
Footsteps sound as he walks out my life with a devilish smile.
I try to move but feel so frozen, dead and hollow.
A sudden urge for revenge strikes my heart with salification.
Dressed in black I watch the betrayer of another lover go six feet under.
As my footsteps sound in the delay of time, I feel unconstrained from the
yearning of the betrayer's death.
---------------------------
EviL eYe~
by najmeh
Picture-perfect house
Nice white picket fence
pretty daises by it
With a swing-set by the tree
so perfect is everything
That it makes the eye gleam
some stare for enjoyment
many stare to get it to disappear
--------------------------
DREAM
i always dream
and i dream day and night
on the spindrift of raging tides
in the rolling sand of desert
among the dancing stars
i dream day and night
and hear the silent whisper
that came from green valleys
and from rigid mountains
in every dream i see you
like a walking goddess toward
and the spell of shining eyes
with a tempting invitation
and the resistance reaching the peak
i move forward patiently
with all the desires in my heart
i place my soul in your being
and feel your tender touch
vibrating every string of sleepy heart
and fearlessly i walk with you
to the world of eternal joy
i leave everything behind
and follow the glow of light
some dreams as they have
come to reality
that your love is with me
yet many miles away
i still dream of you
i dream day and night...................
Nazim Baig
--------------------------------------------
"Gorky Street"
Sleepwalking down Gorky Street a jungle
Of stationary
Eyes gleam
Silvery
Bullets trained on me
Held hostage on Gorky Street
By species I've staked
To oaken branches my own
Private entomology labeled
Name/date illegible
In opaque streaks of milky
Moonlight guiding the way
Down Gorky Street trying
To hitch a ride back
by Chris Hagan
------------------------------
: WAITING ETERNITY'S WHISPER
It is stubborn to fight the storm
Where lightning crashes, water splashes,
Whipping waves to rocks
Where algae and snails
Make their home.
Remember
You too will die
Whether by ice or fire,
Deep ocean laughs
What will come, will come.
The birds remind us
Of peaceful dreams
Where eternity waits
To embrace
Our soft awakening.
Waking
To a thousand visions,
The soft porcelain breeze,
Blowing on fiddle strings
Of secret clouds.
------------------------
My Father, My Hero, My Friend
His brilliant spirit shines as if he holds a million stars in his hands.
His Love & Wisdom have touched my soul; in my eyes a living legend that
will never grow old.
There are no tears in his world, even though sometimes there is pain.
For his courage can carry him through anything.
I can only hope someday I can be like him.....
My Father, My Hero, My Friend
By:Lisa Alfier-Jean
----------------------------
Did you ever Love someone
and knew that he didn't care
Did you ever feel like crying
but knew you would get nowhere
Did you ever look into his eyes
and say a little prayer
Did you ever look into his heart
and wish that you were there.
Did you ever cry about him "Dear God I love him so"
Did you ever dream about him
and didn't let him know
Oh love is fine but it soon hurts
the price you pay is high
In choosing love and choosing death
I'd think I'd rather die
So I beg you please don't fall in love
it's sad and yet it's true
You see my friend I ought to know I fell in love with you...
-----------------------------
THE LAST DRINK
I saw my friend drinking a beer,
and tipping a shot glass.
He smiled at me and took one more drink,
it turned out to be his last.
I don't know what God's plan was
for my friend that day,
because he tried to fight some guy,
and that guy blew him away.
--------------------------------------
"Once Lucid"
He watches me behind the silence in the glass
Admitting that there's an indifference here
I am awake,... the vivid dreams fading slowly
I chase the skipping memories around my mind and they rush away
with a new cold breath of morning
having been so long in a sleep of color
the sadness of the grays surprises me
and I watch the weary weep for rest, for dreams, in a lullaby of fear
weep, and wait, for when forever rest will come
Yet all I see, Great Devotion to the day!
to the worries of a meaningless sort, to keeping light
when dark moments of rest and moons come
this was all confusing when from the place of color I was swept,
then, all consuming
when the memories of color and beauty and dark silent moments left me
Now he watches behind the glass, smiling,
while I groom for the day,... the gray
waiting to catch my eye
in the silence of one brief moment to catch me once, dreaming.
-----------------------------------------
Quote:
The magical heart, mind, and soul,
binds old, rich, and poor
generations
--------------------------------------------
uncovering me
by:Catherine Obrey
I can't be you
i can't be me
So i hide
what i feel inside
with all the Shame
and all the pain
i hide it from you
i hide it from me.
------------------------
Time.
I stand alone. Once again.
As before, when I thought I was wrong
But in the end
You fearlessly went on.
With such strength
I never knew you had.
You never told me
That about you.
It is always just me.
I knew I couldn't hold onto you
Forever.
But now we are gone.
What we had is no more.
I feel empty.
I am alone.
In the end.
Time has taken you
From me.
-------------------------------
suzanne i love you
so dearly
so deep
i want you to hold me
and touch me
i tickle you to be close
i tingle when you are close
i want your touch
i want you
but when you look up and catch me staring
i smile
i know you will never be mine
you watch me sometimes
can i kiss you?
if only
i could
but you smile back
as i turn my head away
your hair is so soft
like silk
to bury my face within it
to smell you
like the sweet lilacs in a meadow
you are so lovely
eyes of green and blue
and orange
radiantly burning into mine
giving me the feelings of pink and orange
that flutter within
you blink
and a chill overcomes me
i tap you on the shoulder
and you turn close
i melt into the floor
dripping a smile
and i see my hands
they reach out
as i fall into the crevice of the floor
falling
into hell
where your beauty and innocence can never dwell
the fiery depths cling at me
eating away at my sinful heart
my soul is beaten
i am scorched my the very hand that fed such impurity into my heart
it leaps at me and taunts me
i cry out your name
and you gaze into my eyes
a tear falls down your cheek
as does mine
we are one
and i am separated
by good and evil
they pull as i stretch
in twisted ways
i wrench in pain
and we come together once more
i cling to you
and you hold me in your arms
warmth and love
i smell your hair
i hold you in this moment
and give myself to you
and then i am torn away
-------------------------------
I'll love you Forever
I'll love you for years
I'll love you through heartache and conflict and tears
I'll love you for Always
I'll love you through pain
and whenever you leave me
I'll love you again
I'll love you in hatred
betrayal and loss
I'll love you through bitterness
in spite of the cost
I'll love you in silence
and blackest despair
I'll love you in outrage
and sickness and fear
I'll love you through apathy
and wondering why
'cause i know that I'll HATE you 'till the day that i die
----------------------------
THE PRINCE OF PEACE
GARY R. PIPER
FROM YOUR BIRTH YOUR YEARS
ON EARTH WERE ONLY THIRTY- THREE.
YOU PLANNED YOUR COURSE, HAVING
GOD AS STRENGTH AND SOURCE, YOU
CAME TO SET ALL SINNERS FREE.
YOUR MAJESTIC SPIRIT HOUSED IN FLESH SOON
WOULD BE RELEASED, YOU FOUGHT THE WAR THE
PAIN YOU BORE, YOU ARE THE PRINCE OF PEACE.
YOU SACRIFICED YOUR LIFE MAKE US RIGHT IN GODS SIGHT, FOR
THROUGH YOU LORD, WE HAVE OUR VICTORY.
GRACIOUS GOD IN HEAVEN BRIGHT AND MORNING STAR
PLEASE KEEP ME EVER MINDFUL OF WHO YOU REALLY ARE.
CLOTHED IN HEAVENS GLORY HIS PRAISES ANGELS SING,
GLORY TO THE SON OF GOD HE IS MY LORD AND KING...
-------------------------------
Him:
Ships that pass through the night
sails nipping at lovers soul
The time of life
feverently touch
thy lips dosth
thou drinketh
through lovers
lips cannot thou
not steal my
soul play
with not the
tides of time
will tell
go I bid you
go for I
forsake thee
Her:
My soul enraptured ceased to deny
thou will art strong enough to defeat
the mindless whores of times. Be not
angry for I tip my head to you
thou I deny the cause, my ship is
your anchor. Sail not away for
thou takesth my heart with thee
Deny me not of spoken promises
stealth and agility for I mourn
thee to thy death.
Him:
See me not as
thy anchor
at thy beloved
Oh, precious
are thy eyes
that suck forth
my heart
Tempt me not
Find my soul
for the deed
has been done
Hold it not
against me
for I can not
bear the lost
of your touch
Not the soul
of tainted
gifts that
I bestow upon you
hold me not
for I fear
that you may
hold the sacred
trust of my soul
By: Fallon Perridon
-------------------
Journey
Far away is my destiny, In the arms
Of warmth & compassion,
In the presence of truth & solace.
The feeling of completion
Escapes me with every attempt.
The very inequities that drive me away
Are what bring me closer to whom I am.
I set No blame for that which I can not have,
For that which I do not understand.
Continuously searching, finding nothing.
Cries of indifference, few but conquer all.
The flame may grow dim...But now
I recognize the core of
My being
My will
My strength
They lie within the fire of my heart.
---------------------------------------
through the darkness the zombie did cry,
Bringing pain and suffering to all that reply,
And the children hide in their beds,
Of fear that the devil will chop off their heads.
"zombie"
--------------------------------
I stare ahead at the bright lights
Unsure of exactly what there fate means to me
As the air gets cooler
and the voices become louder yet more unclear
I realize for the first time that I am alone
Even though I am surrounded by people
and a smile is formed on my lips
My heart is aching and so is my soul
because my smile hides so much
no one is aware of my emptiness
so instead of feeling the pain
that i deserve to feel
I push it down deeper
and form a smile to hide my fear
-------------------------------
Why?
Though it happened decades ago,
We long for the answer. Only G-d shall know.
It was a time of unjust doing.
Though not thought of at the time, it would nearly end up ruining.
The Holocaust was an act that forever scarred the mind.
It was a battle of hell between all mankind.
The tragedies that it caused were without a doubt,
The most horrifying things that a person could endure,
Survival was sought by every man and woman,
Few made it through all of the treacherous ruin,
The stories we will share with generations to come,
Are only a reminder of the events that were done.
------------------------------
Eagle's Wings
If I had wings as broad as an eagle,
I would soar through the heavens,
If I had eyes that were as sharp as an owls,
I could see good in every man and woman,
If I had the speed and grace of a cheetah,
The end of the earth would be my limit,
If I lived my life as peaceful as the doves,
There would be no hatred, only love,
If my body was as broad as a mountain,
There would be no obstacle that I could not defeat,
If I could hear as well as the wildest deer,
Then I would lend an ear to anyone who requested it,
But you see my friend I have none of these,
For a human being is all I am amidst uncertainties.
--------------------------------------------
The Beauty if the Earth
The waves of the ocean crash with a thunderous roar,
On the mountains above the eagles soar,
The sun creeps through the clouds above,
Life out here is as peaceful as a dove,
The fish swim vigorously across the ocean floor,
In the distance the only sound that is heard is a lions roar,
The melodies of the crickets are heard through the land,
Across the beach lies golden yellow sand,
The blades of grass drift in the breeze,
The calm blue water flows gently through the seas,
The sun starts to fade as shadow across the hill,
The misty air sends a cooling chill,
The delicate flowers sway from side to side,
The light from the stars beams down on the riverside,
The moon glistens like a star in the night,
Alone walks the wolf without a single fright,
The beauty of the earth will not last for long,
So I ask you my friend enjoy it before it is all gone.
---------------------------
I don't want to love you
But I don't have a choice
Every time I see you
Whenever I hear you voice
I know this must be true
And I don't know what to do
All I want to see
Is for you to be happy
Whatever that will take
These are all risks I'm willing to make
With or without me
Your life will go on
But without you
My reason for living is gone.
------------------------------------
New Life
Sitting, listening, studying the puritan throw words
Absorbing the trustful sense of a wondrous future,
But will the past toss ones chance of eternal survival
The answer soon revealed as ones head bows and a tear;
Racing thoughts of sin bounce throughout the mind
Then unexpected, stop as one becomes as the air,
Arms pull and cover with love as they know of such glory
As a white river of crystal tears stream from ones eye,
The slight pull of force bringing one to the new family
Feeling covered with beds of feather as one feels weightless,
Not knowing that one has just turned to the eternal key
---------------------------------
This following poem,
will be a challenge.
Fortunately for me,
I like poetry and,
writing its a snap.
If there is an incident,
that I make an mistake,
don't blame me for this is hard.
Rhyme is not a,
foreign language to me,
though I perfer not to use it.
I have to use a minimum of,
ten spelling words for this poem,
so I'll throw in tyranny and anarchy,
just to add more.
One thing about poetry is,
logic is an anchor which weighs down,
the amount of poetry one produces.
By the way,
did you know that,
there are four syllables,
in Mississippi.
------------------------
Love is so hard to find,
in this day of world and mind.
But there's one that I truly love,
She's as beautiful as a dove.
Her skin so soft and silky fine,
I can't believe that she is mine.
I want to tell her something she may know,
I want to tell her that I love her so.
This angel that I'm talking of,
She's my one and only true love.
She's God's gift to man sent down for me,
I'm glad that my dreams have become reality.
She's there for me whenever I'm down,
Her hair so long and a beautiful brown.
Her smile so welcoming and true,
At first sight it said, "I love you".
Her heart so big to l et everyone in,
To have said no to her would've been a sin.
As all could plainly see,
How much she really means to me.
I wrote this just to let her know,
How much I truly love her so.
Dedicated to K. M. with love from Dave written on 10/29/98.
--------------------------------
Singing Rhapsody In Blue
The dancing notes of the clarinet cuddle life's silence that holds me captive,
evoking a sympathetic antiphon from deep within the inner cord of my soul.
New rhythms swell, searching for repose and crescendo, forming in me
joyful moods of being touched by flitting notes that encompass my very definition.
I swirl into hew heights unable to be reached in conventional ways, as the tones free me from the earth-boundness that reaches as so many hands to restrain me.
I ascend and fall, learning that the depths are not the abyss I once thought, but in reality new chants that I have never pondered before, not knowing the proper key or clef of life.
Rhapsody fills my essence and surrounds my very texture with clear insight into my precise purpose and meaning, as in joyful contemplation I listen to my soul respond with unparalleled song.
------------------------------
kooooooooooo-ki
kats dangling onto third street lampposts
drinkin' cheap wine
under drizzly clouds
watching taxicabs zoom zoom by
it's five after six and
the working-class types are at home
eatin' pork chops with their housewives
watching the news reflect their two-bit lives
iiiiiiiiiiiii-e decimal drops
ink splashes into bitter tears of writers
induced by self despair
ribbon knots and dog-eared paperbacks
around the silver edges of the tables
that fall down
junk chutes.
-------------------
ASHAMED
-Nick Sievert
I hide my face as they walk by
I don't want them to see the shame in my eye
It is silly but I am ashamed of what my ancestors have done!
--------------------------
~Dark Hole~
I'm so much happier right now
But still I feel so hollow
A darkness within me that I don't understand
I've told of all the lies I had
But still there's one more in me
I can't help but feel that there is something wrong, something missing
The feeling of love
The feeling of joy
The feeling of hope
The feeling of caring
Those feelings are gone
They are replaced with a dark empty hole
Replaced with feelings of guilt
Feelings of anger and hate
Fear and despair
The guilt from a girl that I stopped talking to
And now I miss her dearly
The guilt from a guy that loves me that I can't love back
The anger and hate for this society that went terribly wrong
The anger and hate for myself
The fear of rejection by the people I love
The despair for happiness
Not feeling the guilt
The anger, the hate
The fear, the despair
----------------------------
*The Breakup*
It's a damn good thing
I didn't get that tattoo.
------------------------------
"Soft Whispers"
The wind blows softly,
Through the canopy of trees,
Blowing soft whispers.
--------------------------------
POISONED FAITH
I'VE BEEN DRIFTING IN A SKY OF DISENCHANTMENT.
CLOUDS OF OPPORTUNITY PASS ME ONE, BY ONE.
YET, AS A CHILD I SIT OUT ON THE FIRE ESCAPE-
INNOCENTLY GAZING TOWARDS THE SUN.
WITH HOPE ON THE RIM OF MY SUB-CONSCIENCE, I FINALLY REACH FOR A CLOUD.
YET, AS I WOULD GRASP IT, ITS TRANSPARENCY BECAME EVIDENT.
AND, THE CYNICAL VENOM WHICH PULSATES MY VEINS, CLUTCHES MY PRIDE,
AND POISONS MY FAITH.
---------------------------
AN OPEN SPACE
MY SPIRIT IS ALIVE
MY SPIRIT ID FREE
MY MIND IS OPEN
TO ALL THE THINGS THAT
LIFE CAN BE
MY LIFE IS CHANGING
MY LIFE IS HAPPY
MY SOUL IS FULFILLED
MY SOUL IS PEACEFUL AND
OPEN TO HEAR THE VOICES
OF THE UNIVERSE
---------------------------------
I Am The One
I am the one who opened my eyes,
to watch you while you slept.
I am the one who raised my face,
to feel your rough caress.
I am the one who stood by you,
praying for happiness.
I am the one whose soul you saved,
while shattering the rest.
I am the one who touched your heart,
before you locked it away.
I am the one who was deceived by you,
as you cried that I betrayed.
I am the one whose love is so strong
that no one else would do.
I am the one whose lips kissed yours,
and whispered I love you.
I am the one who made you smile,
when everything was cold.
And you are the one who broke my heart,
took it out then let it go.
----------------------------------
Praise Poem
Lord, you are all there is to me. You have brought farther than anything ever has.
I love to sing your praises and exalt your name.
You are the love of my life, my one true hope.
You bathe me in your glory, and surround me in your presence.
I do not deserve, am not worthy, of your love or your gifts.
But, you, the ever-loving, all-knowing, truly graceful, One True God, designed in your plan a way for my escape from sin's chains.
This way is known as the Lamb of God and the Lion of Judah.
He came to earth by his free choice, died on a cruel cross in my place, rose again on the third morn, and loved me, even before I was born.
Then, he sent His Holy Spirit for my comfort and guidance, so that I could live
according to your plan.
I praise you, O Holy Trinity, not only for these acts of love and grace, but for who you are:
The loving, doting father.
The self-sacrificing, never-dying Son and Teacher.
The ever-present Guiding Comfort.
And, together as one, my anchor in this stormy sea called life.
---------------------------------
imbroglio
as my mind wanders, many thoughts run rampant
reflections of you
impressions of her
confusion as to what tomorrow holds
i welcome silence
those brief moments when my senses are at rest
lingering only for seconds
yet treasured for eternity
my consciousness is a vast abyss of passions and desires
too unwonted for the mainstream world
yet too salient to be disregarded
my head is a room full of headaches
------------------------------------------
Cell deviant
A canary in a cage is going insane
Cries for freedom rain from its brain
Never to eager and never to brave to
sing its song another day
Beautiful canary how ugly you are
I am like you tapped behind bars
Scratching your perch and scrapping
your beak, spreading your voice through
out the streets
Calling for liberation and calling for arms
Singing your song to fill many hearts
Beautiful canary wait for me, for I am to
scared to break from the sheep
Spread your wings and stretch your pride,
teach us to become one of a kind
Flap your lungs and fill your pride, live for
us so you can penetrate our hearts
Beautiful canary how can it be, my life
seems meaningless without the pain your
suffer for me.
-----------------------------
MAMA'S WING
Just a little boy
Under mama's wing
Then you grew-up
Into a teenager
Wild like the wind
Struggling to stay afloat
Falling on your face sometimes
But still under mama's wing
Now an adult
Determined to soar to the top
Then you found a girl
A women that you loved
Engaged and happy
But scared to move on
Afraid mama's wing would break
Just a little boy
In love with a girl
Just gotta trust
That mama's wing won't break
--------------------------------
YOU NEVER KNOW
By:Melissa McKelvey
You're flying high
Carefree on a summer day
Thinking everything's okay
God didn't warn you
Your parents couldn't prepare you
Every action counts for life!
Your brain's on automatic
You try to reach out for help
No one will oblige
Never think it could happen to you
Now you've changed for life
Every action counts for life
EMBRACE IT
----------------------------------
red stain
the sweet communalist's bane
beets
---------------------------
patience is a virtue foreign
to me its quick or not done
a quick frown or a quick grin
no quick love and no quick fun
its time to slow down
and smell the flowers
slow down and fall in love
leave my heart to scour
to cleanse to release
to find that slow feeling
to finally find peace
--------------------------------
Bitter expectation
For such sweet end
When the illusion
Burn down and end
Is there any sweet night
So I would not cry
Can you ever leave me
With saying goodbye?
And there are only few words to say:
In the true meaning of life
The beginning and the end
All the feelings and the regrets
Are here in these few words that I want to say..
All I need to tell you
All I ever wanted you to know
Is that I love you
And nothing more.
------------------
Do you?
Do you still care for me
as I still care for you?
Do you make a wish on that first bright star
and pray that it comes true?
Do you see me in your dreams
every night that you can sleep?
And when you wake to find me gone,
Do you ever weep?
Do you remember the night we fell in love?
Do you remember that first kiss?
Do you remember anything?
Do you reminisce?
Do you ever wish you could take things back
to try to make things new?
Do you wish for things gone past?
Do you?
I do.
----------------------------
Loanly Love
emotions felt,
long contained.
often sought,
but seldom gained.
-----------------------------
Who is ever so near as to know the true beauty in this mind's eye
The caress of this soul does reach blindly into its unknown
and the wrappings of arms enclose this soft-skinned tomb
Only with this eye can truth be witnessed but not by mere mortals shifted
These thoughts are given by its owner uneasily
to you whose heart says freely
Silently this cry has been released never admitting a tear
or a shout of pain
It is you who longs to come into this realm and calm its fear
your arms reaching out and never enclosing themselves
Yet not by any lack of strength this place is hard to hold
but worth the gold enclosed
If this strength were easily possessed
in this skin of softness and lacking
It would freely give to you the gifts entombed
This treasure would be your reward
as the humble servant's quest is finally known
For knowledge of this place is clear
to eyes drawn deeply with its never ending gaze
---------------------------
Heading south, pushing north
going no where my time is worth
I can't take this place anymore
step outside, shut the door
to turn back now would only cause pain
heading no where, no where sane
traveling down the winding road of time
nothing to loose, everything has been left behind
Sleep tonight, tomorrow's gone
wake up in the end and everything is wrong
shut down the clocks take it back an hour
you are still at home being a coward
if i could lie i would tell you the truth
but in this place there is no use
going everywhere, everything's gone
take it all back and you've just begun
when time is passing where does it go?
you left the world for your black whole
take your life spin it sideways, upside down, put it back together then turn it around
walk to the end of my world, drown in my sea, begin a new life of backwards mentality
--------------------------------
I fell behind in my apologies
For things I did not do,
So someone I don't even know
Deemed me unworthy to exist.
I came alive in the ashes of Death
And met God in the arms of Morpheus.
I sang along when you sang of peace
And cried when you thought of her.
I asked not for any forgiveness,
And you gave me all the lies I needed
To believe anything that anyone
Told me was real or true.
I dared not to decipher the reasons
Behind your curtain of hate,
Instead, you showered me with
A crescendo of love and cocaine.
When I was confused, you always said
You're only a girl, you can't understand.
I guess I can't if you won't explain,
So I resign to my innocent fate.
--------------------------------------
These sleepless nights
and it's doubtful I'd mention
that you were the cause
just to pride your intentions
Enclosed in thought
I think of the weather of my heart
and it's tension
Though you're solely at fault
for this emotional ulcer,
you'd help alleviate the pain
If you were here
But, the physical ailment
the nausea
As you walk another out
through the dark
RJG
-----------------------------
Yearbook
I saw them staring at me
their black and white eyes
some cheerful, some sullen faces
some stared with surprise
I thought them amusing
at first glance
then wondered where time had taken them
if they were given that chance
What is their current style?
What about their families?
New places of residence
Their hopes, their dreams
Did anyone reach goals?
I questioned as I looked
And the pages seemed to echo
as I skimmed o'er the book
---------------------------------
THAT EVIL THING! THAT REPULSIVE SIGHT!
THAT HORRIBLE REFLECTION I SEE IN THAT WRETCHED MIRROR.
WHO INVENTED MIRRORS ANYWAY?
SOME WICKED CREATURE INTENDING TO RID HUMANS OF ALL POTENTIAL SELF-ESTEEM.
OR IS IT THE MIRROR THAT SHAMES ME?
FOR THIS MIRROR I CURSE IS AN INANIMATE OBJECT.
IT IS NOT A WICKED CREATURE WHO HAS CREATED THIS MIRROR,
BUT THE ONE OF SUPREME EVIL WHO HAS CORRUPTED MY MIND.
FOR THIS IMAGE I SEE IS A REFLECTION OF MY OWN PERCEPTION.
BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER
AND THE ONE OF SUPREME BEAUTY AND LOVE
HAS SHOWN THE ULTIMATE LOVE FOR ME.
IF GOD LOVES ME SO MUCH,
WHAT RIGHT DO I HAVE TO BELITTLE MYSELF?
PRIDE(IT'S GETTING THERE)
-------------------------------------
Feeling Love
A sour pain of resentment,
A feeling of unhappiness creeps,
Confusion as you think,
Empty yet bestirred inside,
Consequently just over a degenerate person,
Yet "just" does not apply to degeneration
Harrison Noel
----------------------------------------------------------
When I saw you
When I saw you
I saw everything wonderful in you
I saw the light in your eyes
The love in your heart
The warmth in your smile
When I saw you
I felt your soft kiss
Your warm touch and embrace
I felt your eyes upon me
When I saw you
I thought it was too good to be true
And I was right
Because now it is gone
When I saw you with her
My heart was torn
But now I realize
I must let you go
I just want you to know
You will be in my heart
Always and forever!
-------------------------------
The Psychiatric Ward
The psychotic man sat in the psychiatric ward,
He believed he had a special relationship with the Lord,
He thought he could read someone's mind,
It was reality he could not find,
The man heard several voices that told him to do something bad,
He was mad.
----------------------------------
~*~Promises And Lies~*~
A hand to hold,
A smile to see.
Sometimes I wonder,
Why this isn't for me.
I've dreamed of him,
For many years.
I've hoped and wished,
And wasted my tears.
Someday I know,
That it'll all come true.
And when it does,
I'll laugh at you.
I'll love him lots,
And he'll love me.
And all those enemies,
Will finally see.
There's more to me,
Than my outside.
But you don't know that,
Cause you've never tried.
And when I find,
That special guy.
I'll come to you,
And make you cry.
Cause I deserve it,
And so do you.
Cause all you've done,
Is be un-true.
---------------------------
~~~~~~~Nameless~~~~~~~~~~
I sat down and I did something I haven't done in a while; write. I wanted to write a poem, a novel, or just a sweet paragraph. I couldn't I didn't know now of all the things I have forgotten what it is to release myself. The daylight grew father in my forever solitude as the sun set over my head in its beaming glory. The pen held no ink. I couldn't write. My mind filling with ideas but they were to fast to let one casually slide down from my pen on to the blank paper. Is it right to hold this opportunity and to hide it like a blemish and conceal the ideas and thoughts of a growing life? I don not know. In everyone's eyes it is wronged but I saw it as beautiful.
~~~~~~~HIM~~~~~~~~
As the sky touch the iridescent moon the light reach my soul,
And the words he said whispered throughout my mind and repeated over and over again. He was true and spoke it. I wonder if the search for the right was wrong but it felt as good as the night.
I like the was he look at me and I like the way he kiss me so soft. I like it when he held my chin and way he spoke. I wish he was different, honest or true. He was a liar but he was different to me.
He like her but refuse to tell the truth. He was always taking about her and loving her. She was a friend, had her mind and her own one to love. They were together. Together. The word sounded wrong. Wrong to me because I think I love him. He touch me as if he loved me. And touch her as she was just there. Why?
If he was going to be with her it made me jealous. But the jealous slid and I loved him to much and let him go....
~~~~~~Writen By Lynzie Barrasse 1999~~~~~~~
---------------------------------------
me,myself,andi
i am alone again,
with myself as the sympathetic friend,
only my own shoulder to cry on,
only my voice to answer my questions, 'only my hand to hold,
only my arms to shelter the cold,
only my solitary bed,
only my demons in my head,
i imagine you'll come back,
i pretend you'll always be here,
and what's in my eyes are not tears
--------------------------------------
Immobile
Powerless, I lay
beneath Jack--
Hammering
I, rubbed raw
inside
my mind
empty with filth
Still, I must be.
Quiet.
With fear---
Desperation
Come inside me
rip me to shreds
take me,
feed me to the dogs.
-----------------------------
Blind eyes-blind eyes peering through small fogs. how many miles to the castle?
how many deaths to the kingdom? why do we not see the end of all? Petty crying dolls line the banks of the canal that passages the barges of hope; crying mama-mama when will we be home?
Once on the high mountain I-I-i looked and saw. then i turned and saw no more. blind eyes-blind eyes peering through small fogs. don't look or you WILL be crushed. your bones will join the lost legions drying on the plain. the fighters who have been out matched, the fools who have dared--, if, only for the sake of beauty, to sleep in endless wonder to dream of ceaseless awakenings. to rise up with a start to lie down with a sigh.
blind eyes-blind eyes see no more.
----------------------------------------
"Calvary"
by Andrew W Jackson
Sr./99
All time stands still upon a near by hill-
The millennium pendulum hovers ore' this Holy place-
The birth of Grace as Justice is satisfied by love-
Upon this cross where you Lord are dying for the lost-
Your bruised, battered body torn asunder-
As noon time blackness sounds Heaven's thunder-
Blinded mobs jeering, thirsting for blood-
"Crucify Him" they shout, "Crucify Him"-
In the shadows a Mother weeps and moans-
She convulses with labor pains of Love-
As she remembers a star filled winters eve-
Drops of Blood mark a path of sorrow-
That points the way to a redeemed tomorrow-
Free of tears, free of sorrow......
-----------------------------
When Memories Remain
At times my thoughts are lost in a haze...
I search my mind in its slipping maze.
Like a summer-set fog that won't go away,
Which faded memory will I stumble on today.
Sun shown through a thin white dress,
Flowing and radiant with her hair a mess.
Reveals the silhouette of my passion for pain...
So Sweet is the torment when memories remain.
Remembrance will show no favorites here...
Most are left in a pool of torturous fear.
We are chained to our memories in harsh everlast;
Few, find sweet salvation, amnesia at last.
In the symphony of a rainy day,
Echoes of discontent and resolve pave my way.
The silhouette's in the doorway leading to the street in the rain...
So sweet is the torment when memories remain.
-Scott Smith, March 28, 1999
---------------------
A poet's last Request
From right and wrong
like a pirates sweet song
to a worker who swallows his pride
if life is unknowing where flowers come from
are where the earth is slowly turning
we question an answers our uncontrollable stars
and watch our flag slowly burning
we are all proved wrong but we still sing our song
and the workers now hollow from pride
a man I am
with a last request
with a humble last request
just please live life
without knowing what's best
John Wright
-------------------------------------
This night brings thoughts to me, it brings emotions to my body that can only be held within myself. The whispers of this nights throbbing heart crash through my open window, teasing my hunger for life, for love, for becoming the true person that I know exists inside. The person who shows emotions, who can surround themselves with others, not because I feel like I have to, but just because I can relate to them. This night is lonely in my dim room, thoughts quickly and quietly flickering about the walls and dressor. I silently lie, music flowing though my ears, the smell of Autumn approaching in my lungs, the feel of love, hate, sadness, happiness and desire in my heart. I crave for a relationship which does not bring awkwardness, which does not bear the sound of nervous laughing and uncertain gestures. A relationship of love, understanding and never wanting to be separated. Whether it be a relationship between two best friends, two siblings or two lovers, that is what I crave on this night. This silent, excruciatingly loud night. Will I ever find what I am looking for on this night, or any night?
----------------------------------
Who are they?
Born into a world of fear and pain.
Shrouded by clouds of darkness and rivers of sadness.
The heart ..the storm of colliding emotions where happiness and love should
dwell.
Pain...that of which the world around, offers no solutions.
Raised to believe that the heart is what defines a person.
There are those who have never known love....never felt.. happiness.
What makes them who they are?
The emptiness they feel inside?
The pain they know so well?
How are they defined?
How are we... defined?
---------------------------------------
Morning Beauty
Gently caressed by the early morning dew.
Slowly rolling down the pedals, rejuvenating life within.
The pedals, slowly open to the kiss of the sun's light, allowing the flower's
true beauty to be expressed in its purest form.
Now the Sun sets, with the moon rising.
Shining Angelic light across the landscape.
The pedals close now, keeping the days warmth locked inside until a new day arises.
Just waiting to Blossom once again.
-------------------------------------
Tea
I
drank you
in a
hot
cup
of tea
Your
taste
swallows
nicely
-----------------------
i sit in the black belly of this monster you created
burnt by the chains of hate you yield and locked in by this wall of deceit
you made me what i am and now you hate me
i can not enter the pleasing new world of tomorrow i'm frozen in the, bleek, blue world of today
i close my eyes, as not to see what you've done
the torturous pain, as my heart explodes, numbing me
this soul once full of life, now a black cesspool of hate and fear
my kinship with the human race now lost in a barren plain of reality
the emotions i have felt now drift away into a sea of bone dust and blood
the happiness once felt has drained into the void you made
can't you see what you have created
the tears that you've shed have drowned me
------------------------
The human heart shatters like priceless crystal thrown against a cement pillar in deep frustration.
-------------------------
December
I stand up on the levee
and watch the river flow
feeling all my misery
from deep within my soul
It's cold in December
a snow begins to fall
not as white as I remember
on the sidewalk
I hope it keeps coming down
I hope it covers the whole damn town
I'll make a snow angel
on the riverbed
all torn and mangled
just like these thoughts
in my head
I'll keep on cryin in the form of rain
till you come and save me
and take this pain away....
--------------------------------
Next to my grave a shattered bottle of whiskey
The rich sticky smell of Jack Daniels splashed across the letters J. Belushi
Through the years as "Bluto Blutarsky" i made the people laugh,
Jake and Elwood maybe two of the most famous brothers
And yet, this bottle of old #7 is smashed
Before all of the "Smooth Tennessee Sippin' Whiskey" can be enjoyed
--------------------------
to sarah,
i hate u 4 pulling me up when i wanted to fall
i hate u 4 giving me hope and believing in my dreams
i hate u 4 listening and telling me things
i hate u 4 placing ur arms around me, and being a friend
i hate u 4 because i've been dry for three months
i hate u 4 having dinner with me all dressed up
i hate u 4 understanding whenever i lose my mind
i hate u 4 crying and needing me to hold ur hand
i hate u 4 listening when i make no sense
i hate u 4 always being real and true
i hate u 4 not being able to buy u that VERSACHE jacket
i hate u i hate u i hate u
i hate u cause u have it all, but ur unable to see
i hate u cause i do
i hate u cause we talked of dreams and fellini
i hate u
i hate u cause u read Huxley to me
i hate u cause u kissed my dry, decaying lips
i hate u cause u said u always be there(where r u now?)i love u!
---------------------
Guardian Of the Rose
In a stone built castle...hewn from mountains
tucked away from man or beast
I preclude the world from my room
Great winds might uproot hundred year old mighty oaks
that sprung from earth before my birth
In here, safe from the world I am the guardian of the rose
An amber fire burns in a basket in vigilance
I dare not let it die
For I must keep the room just so....
That my blood red rose can grow
The flames play games and cast great shadows
Where dragons and demons lurk
I fear not, for a single goal arrests my soul
To watch her grow
Twenty years i'll wait, and twenty more
'Cos time declared a pact with me to share that moment
Time waits to see her petals unfurl
And when she does my heart will dance in fields of golden hue
...and when I gaze on her immaculate bloom
I'll dampen the fire, and turn and say
my job is done...come face the storm
I'll hold out my hand to you, your human form do take
Put your hand in mine
I will say....
I have waited all my life for thee my love!
Shhh you say, no words need be said
did you not water me with your own tears
When there was no water to be found?
And did you not say such beautiful things when I felt down?
Did you not feel despair when you thought that the fire had died?
No need for words...for I have watched you bloom as well!
Bruce Robert Rutherford.
---------------------------------------
The Upper Hand.
Our battle had run on for years
You caused me pain and many tears
You treated me like I was dirt
And didn't care how much it hurt
You had affairs behind my back
I had to stand and watch you pack
You turned to walk right out the door
Our marriage was to be no more
It only took one little squeeze
To bring you groveling to your knees
And so I think that I have won
....its easy when you hold the gun.
Gillian Weekes
-------------------------------------
Sometimes
Sometimes the world can be a cold place.
Sometimes your heart cries in agony but you have to move on.
Sometimes life is a dream that is as fantastic as the stars at night.
Sometimes we forget who we are.
Sometimes a bit of rain can do the soul a bit of good.
Sometimes I get lonely.
Sometimes... I think of you.
-------------------------------------
The Pretender
I'm looking around
but your heart wont
be found
I care
or, at least I pretend
to
I see
only what
you let me
I need
just a small
part of you
I hope
maybe this will
come true
if not
I cry
or, at least I pretend
to.
--------------------------
I feel the bus ride
as it takes me down
singapore streets.
I hear the clatter of rails
(really it's a soft hiss).
There's the smell of cooked food,
hundreds of aromas intermingled in the night.
Just like the languages/races here.
Somebody tells me this is the future of man,
I say, "I don't know."
Back in america they have no idea,
but here they strive to be american
and most of them don't know why.
Yes, I feel the bus ride.
-----------------------------------------
I look into your eyes...waves crash deep
the sun at our mercy...the sand at our feet
when we are close my heart beats like thunder
no matter what happens my heart won't hinder
for now though the shore of the lake holds true
all the sounds that will ensure my love to you
a deep haze covers your eyes
sometimes causes me too cry
then your smile calms the storm
and then my tears dry and my heart grows warm
inside of you i see eternity
a world of peaceful serenity
I want to hold you so bad
when you come over i am glad
innocence of sleep means more to me
than anything else could ever be...
I want you in my arms throughout the night
and i want to wake up with you in my sight.
eternity shall have no match
because my heart the heart you have snatched
-------------------------------------------------------
TIME WILL HEAL MY HEART
I hear your voice
carried on the wind
as I sit and watch the sea
I see you standing
round every corner
On every single street
I see your smile
each and every time
I close my eyes to sleep
and in my dreams
your holding me
but all I do is weep
I know I loved you
but nobody cares
They say i'll get over it
time will heal my heart
But I don't want it to heal
and every night I wish
That when you hit that car
I'd been there as well.
---------------------------------
Why Should I Care
Why should I care,
That there is hatred everywhere?
It is only on TV,
It will never get to me.
Why should I care,
That there is violence over there?
It does not affect me,
Is the attitude you see.
But when it hits close to home,
We know we are not alone.
And when it cuts down a child,
We really go wild.
It is time to take a stand,
And help our fellow man.
No matter where he be,
He is part of our family.
---------------------------------------------
Break/fast
(based on a dream)
by Patricia Kelly
We stand outside in the gloom
watching as birdseed cascades
from the broken window feeder
"But we have to fix it," I say,
"Or we'll have flocks
of wild birds gathering"
"Exactly," he says, an elfin grin
on his golden face
I spin around to look toward the east,
my hungry spirit
lofting with the sun
-------------------------------
Tearing Asunder
Is this my happy ever after?
tied to him, dragged behind him like an afterthought?
being an eternal security blanket for the eternally insecure?
I wish I couldn't think.
I wish I could have an affair.
I wish I could take a trip to Bangkok
--anywhere without him.
I get 5,000 chances a day
to change my situation,
5,000 chances to say no to him,
5,000 scary ways to break free
--too many reasons why I never do.
I'm tired of my life being a riddle.
Who cares about the sound of one hand clapping?
I want an answer, not another clue.
To hell with God's guidance! He's fired!
I'll find my own way, thank you!
----------------------------------------------
The days were long
and the nights were hard
but I forced myself to go on.
Our bodies ached
Our hearts were sore
but we forced ourselves to go on.
Sometimes we cried
Many times
we watched
Our own brothers die.
But I tell you
In the end
we never lost our pride.
----------------------------
The patience of the letter
It sits upon the tabletop
Waiting to be done
Left alone in the room
The ink on the quill
Has dried
The window open
A crystal wind falls in
Take the unfinished letter
About its way unto its peace
The room still dark
The ink still dry
The letter floats
Into the sea
It is wet, yet still dry
For letter of love
Has eternal being
Never leaving
Never dying
Just sits upon its tabletop
Waiting for the lover
To come and finish
Is the patience, of the letter
---------------------------
a walk away from sunset vices
a place to stumble on the stars
not my night...no, not tonight
still loving...still wondering...
so neon peacebrains blink out of time
and love still fills the streets of somewhere...
...relaxing the slang of immigrants
walking on the glass of political slander
---------------------------
That wonderful word they call love
Has one too many times given me a shove
Longest relationship lasted a month
Repeat it to myself everyday
How many times before, how many times to come
Will I hear a girl say,
"I love you forever, I love you always"
They all say it, but not a one stays
They were all quick flings,
That's all my heart sings
See what love can shatter?
It leaves my brain all tattered
So now, I wonder aimlessly on to the next 2 week ride
Pretty soon, I'll secede, leaving only myself to confide...
------------------------------
That Day
by: Sara Tafel
Detached from my reality, only seeing, not feeling my actions. Twitching free of your grasp, flying away into a cloudy oblivion. I can touch the sky and kiss the stars. I can dance with the moon and sleep in the midnight skies. I want to breathe it in, I want it to intoxicate every part of my soul. I want to feel it running thought my brain and in my veins. I want to feel it push at the tips of my fingers, I want it to fill me up so completely so that i may forget that day I cried. That day the pain finally exploded, that day my insanity rose up and took control of my soul. This day I cannot forget. The day the voices took over my mind, the day the pain swallowed my heart, the day hate took my soul and sold it to satan.
Page Copyright © AHA Books 1999.
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